Hey Shiro

Hey Shiro.
I feel really stupid for saying this now.
Now of all times, when you deserved to hear it more.
Sooner.
I don't deserve to be called your friend.
I can't pretend to have been a good to you.
Not that I could have done anything to help you, but I wasn't there for you at all.
You were by my side a short time in this life.
And I didn't appreciate you while you were struggling so hard beside me.
I was just a coward who couldn't bear to watch.
Pretended everything was all right.
But it's not.
And you're gone now.
What is there left to say?
I won't apologize- it's probably not what you would have wanted to hear.
But I don't know what else to do.
What else is there to say?
I know that doing this won't change anything.
That it is too late.
I promised I wouldn't give you some elaborate outcry, art, expression...
and pretend like that's enough.
Like I could ever have repaid you.
I should stop being selfish.
Stop whining and moping.
Talk about your good points and good memories.
Talk about how amazing and creative and strong you were.
It's not like I've forgotten but right now,
I just really miss you.

Rest in Peace.